Thursday, October 30, 2003


weather '....eeuuhhmm,... I never celebrate any Halloweens, but I'd like to say hAppY hAllOwEEn to you all, who celebrate it.'
But what is this Halloween? Halloween is originated from several customs, the earliest of which dates back to Ireland in the fifth century B.C. As we know it today, the Oct. 31 celebration is a fun way to dress up and frightening people in sometimes scary costumes. Nowadays some people have tradition to celebrate it every year.
(* baca di msn, nih. Hiikss!)
so, TRICK OR TREAT! have fun pals! enjoy it.....

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

About Kamar Kost

Small Note about the Place I live |
Now I rent a small place belongs to a family which is built seperate to the main house, with my door facing their kitchen so close. If I say close, that mean really close. You can just stand on my door way- reach out your hand and you will touch their kitchen window. It is true. So I could only shout everytime I talk to people on the kitchen. Easy, right? I could "follow" all the activities on the kitchen even that I didn't want to. I know what they were cooked. Only by smelling and hearing without open my door. Isn't this great? Hheehhee,....
I remember the time of me, my bro's, my sis used to live at my parent's house together. I was the one who used to stand up untill 2 or 3 in the morning (*still is until now,...), where the rest of my family normally used to sleep early around 9 or 10 (11 is a max.). Ridiculous, huh? So this is sets on my brain about the average time of a family usually goes to sleep. This the standard time to rest. But here on this house, I think I live with a Vamp family from Count Dracula's descent. LOL. This landlord family's Rush Hour usualy after 10 pm to 3 or 4 in the morning. And back at the time we still lived at my parent's, came home late around 1 or 2 am were normal. But this family's member, I could hear them cooked- sang- discussed- or went out at 2 or 3 in the morning the same like in a day time. I found this odd, but this suit me anyway.
If you hard to sleep at night like me, you'll be glad to hear people still talking or cooking in the morning around you.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Uji Nyali di TV

My favorite Show this evening, "Uji Nyali", 22.00 on TransTV. Seru, Jack. I usually try (HAVE) to be home before the show. Oke, maybe you haven't seen this show, I'll tell you it is some kind of mental test. This TV crew will challenge one dare person to stay in a 'spooky' place from midnight 'till dawn, alone- offcourse. The TV crew have installed some cams and microphones around the spot to record all the activities during the time. When all's set, they will left the person there. * Please, dont pick me.
Believe it or not, from what they got on film taped I saw things happened during the tests. Orbs, shadows, mist, human siluets, or leaves moved by themselves. Yeah, yet not so convincing.... but at one episode of 2 weeks ago,.... hhuuhh,... that was really spooky when an old woman with a long white dress and a long straight hair cover her face suddenly appeared at the end of tunel where this challenge documented. Ppfff,....!! Then I became to like this a lot.

Btw, I read this old article about blair witch project and I kind of absorbed to this article. A true legend from a small village called Burkittsville, Maryland, with those unexplained things behind this interesting story.

Right. I got to admit that I'm a little obssesed to the unexplained things, misteries, or spooky things. They give me the creep. Ghost, spirits, evils, or whatever people may call them, I believe that they do exist, thought I have never confronted them myself. *Wow, I hope never....

Monday, October 27, 2003

Ordinary Day

it is not over untill it is over!!

Finally I'm back again to this desk. I did not work on Monday, and I did not work too yesterday. Well actually I did come to work yesterday though I was not feel well, but I did back again one hour after I came in. LOL. Do you know why? Only because I was insulted to what Robert said to Lina about my absence on Monday. He did not believe that I was really ill! Yeah I did not see the doctor, I did not think I needed doctor yet, so what? Does he think that I made off from stone? Can not be ill? I was ill and I was sick of his accused. So then I left the office. That simple.

Btw, I've got a fever started on Sunday. We were played card again on Saturday evening to Sunday morning. Me, Sisi, Dede, Wiwit, and Teddy. While we still can play, LOL, next week its ramadhan already pak! Dasar Penjahat. Heehehehee,... There will be no chance to play card during ramadhan, right? And yes, on the nextday (sunday) I started to get a little fever. But today I feel fine, though I'm not sure how is my mood today.


stupid quote | " Everyone has a photographic memory
...................................some just don't have any film."

Today was actually day off, but did come instead. Hhhmm. You see, I don't need any holiday even only for one day. Sunday is enough for me. Why? Cause I need to keep my mind busy all the time or I go nuts, And stay at home would obviously only getting me cradle back on my bed again and then starting to day dreams. That is not wise. All I want to do now is to get rid of my ******* dreams.

Guess what, It was only me who were there at work though it was already 11.15 am. Offcourse, today was one day off. But 2 hours later Yuni came also. Hhhhmmm. I supposed she also needed to keep herself busy too. Hahahaa!! So relieving to know that I wasn't the only one who need to be busy.

Speak of day off, today was the first day of fasting season for moslem. But unfortunately I couldn't fasting today, and I guessed this would go for the next 4 days. THE RED LIGHT. Damn! I had lost the joy of this Ramadhan.
.......... wasn't too surprising, huh? I've lost a lot of things!

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Nggak Boleh Bohong! Hahhaa ..

Hari Minggu ini bangun jam 10.15. Aduh! Padahal rencananya pengen ke Tanah Kusir pagi2. Bego. Udah hari gini mah panas dan pastinya udah padat orang disana (Menjelang Ramadhan kaum muslim punya tradisi buat melayat ke makam keluarga dan kerabat sebelum menjalani puasa). Sebenarnya sih agak malas juga kalo pergi cuma sama Nina, tapi keluarga udah dari minggu lalu kesana. Jadi kalo tidak hari ini, besok pun belum tentu gua bisa kesana. Apa hari Senin aja ya? *talk to myself*

Malamnya makan di Pulo Dua (lagi) sama Key, Ida, 'n Meya. A late celebration for Meya's birthday. Karena nggak sempet cari2 kado, tapi pengen ngasih, akhirnya gue bungkus aja salah satu frame photo lucu punya Nina (belum terpakai) yang dia dapet dari temannya waktu ia ulang tahun Agustus lalu. Sebetulnya gue nggak berniat bawa si Nina, tapi berhubung nggak ada yang bisa babysit Nina akhirnya dia gue bawa juga.  Anaknya seneng bangeeet .. sudah tentu!

Nah! Ini dia awal 'tengsin' dimulai. Gara2 gue nggak minta ijin sama Nina sebelumnya & dipicu si Meya yang nggak sabar buka kadonya teriak, "Aann,... kadonya gue buka ya!". Saat itu gue kebetulan masih diseberang jalan sama Nina. Gua ajak nina ke toilet dan langsung gue bisikin pelan2, "Nina, kado ultah buat tante Meya itu isinya hadiah ultah Nina dari Rizki waktu itu. Nggak apa2 ya? Kan nggak pernah Nina pake. Nanti Nina mami beliin lagi.... Tapi jangan ngomong apa2 sama tante Meya ya? Nggak usah bilang2 itu kado dari Rizky buat Nina. Oke?". *Oh God forgive me, ini namanya ngajarin anak ngebohong*. Nina ngangguk. Jelas dia nggak keberatan kalo kadonya dikasihkan Meya. Syukur deh.

Balik ke meja cuma ada Meya duduk disitu sambil buka kado. Lagi2 Meya ngomong, "Ih, lucu! Ini pasti Nina ya yang milih? Iya kan?" Wah... kacau. Nina duduk diam dibangkunya dengan pandangan aneh. *Please say yes Ninaa*  Lagi2 si Meya pake merasa perlu ngulangin pertanyaannya segala. Nina masih diam dengan pandangan aneh. Sebentar melihat kearah gue, sebentar melihat kearah Meya, seolah-olah lagi mikir  'Ngomong apa enggak ya?'. AAARRGGHH....!! Gawat deh! Padahal gue udah agak2 melotot sambil sedikit kedip2 kasih kode. Dan bener juga tuh, akhirnya kejadian juga, dia bangun lalu bisik2 dikuping gue dengan suara yang 'tidak bisik2', alias bisa jelas2 didengar sama Meya diseberang meja, "Mami, tante Meya nggak tauk ya? Itukan kado Nina dari Rizky, jadi kan bukan Nina yang milih ya?". Aduh malunya maaakk,..... Kepala gue rasanya sampe keluar asap. Tengsin to the max! Meya ketawa ngakak. Maok nggak maok akhirnya gue jelasin juga ke si Meya. Hhhh,..... Masih untung Key dan Ida nggak lagi ada disitu!
Naifnya si cintaku sayangku! Udah dipesenin masih aja keceplosan!

This is another lesson for me : Never tell lies to children, but what more important : Never teach them to lie, or you'll be the one who gets into trouble!

Friday, October 24, 2003


15. 40 : Si Boss keluar kantor nih. * y i i h a a a !! Eh, tapi entah dia balik lagi apa enggak gue nggak tauk. There are some pastries left on his desk. They look yummy. Biasanya sih gue dibagi nih. Hhhmm. Gue sikat apa enggak yaa... ?? Tapi nanti kalo tauk2 dia balik lagi trus nyariin pastry-nya gimana dong??
............................. *dapet ide* Tunjuk si Djali & Robert aja ya? Heheee...

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Nothing Special

Look whos coming today? Wiwit, and with all her bags hanging over her hands and shoulder. I dont understand why she always appears like that. Bring a lot of bags as if she is selling stuff. Weird. Sering gue ledek, kenapa juga nggak sekalian bawa lemarinya? kamarnya kalo perlu. I'm sure everything you need are there in one of her bags. Huuehheehee.... and then she gave her CV. Curhat sebentar, then gone again.

Tadi pagi ini lucu. Udah dijalan lumayan jauh gue tiba2 inget rokok ketinggalan. Yah, balik lagi deh ke rumah- abis itu langsung jalan lagi. Di bis sebelum keneknya mintain ongkos gue sibuk cari2 dompet tanpa hasil. Tapi ada dua lembar ribuan dan recehan di saku tas. Gue kasih kenek seribu sambil langsung minta stop. Gue turun lagi. Goblok ya! Dompet gue masih di saku celana jeans yang gue gantung dibelakang pintu! Rokok yang bisa dibeli lagi bisa2nya gue inget, dompet malah ketinggalan! Niatnya naik bis maok ngirit akhirnya gue setopin taksi juga, balik ke rumah sekalian buat nanti langsung berangkat lagi. Dan dikamar gue juga baru nyadar kalo HP pun ketinggalan dimeja. Bah!

14.25 I skipped my breakfast this morning and now I missed my lunch too. Huh. Seperti biasa, nggak ngarti enaknya makan apaan. Warteg? Soto? Pecel Lele? Padang? Semua gitu-gitu aja. Bosen. Hhhmm,.. apaan yaaa?
Anyway, The cat is away and the mice is playing! I've been busy reading this blog and this blog. Interesting blog. Huuehheehee....

Friday, October 17, 2003

At work

Edy came this morning to ask for my reference. He used to be one of the employee at my work. Guess what? He brought me some bananas! Can you believe this?? I'm insulted. Dia kira gue monyet kali ya? Hehheehehhee,... Emang dasar aneh itu anak. But anyway, I missed the moment we worked together. He used to be funny, noisy, but friendly.

Dengan sedikit 'terpaksa', abis gue bosen juga sih ngeliatnya, gue coba ngerapiin sedikit web Alumni. Lagian juga nggak ada berita dan kabar baru. Kan males lhooo.... maok diapain? Besides, they never participating enough, so dont counting on me, okey?

Thursday, October 16, 2003


Hari ini gue maleeesss...............
Lagi nggak gitu semangat dari pagi. Bawaannya lemes & ngantuk abis. Wah! Jangan-jangan gue kurang vitamin nih! Perasaan sih yang udah jelas gue kurang kasih sayang,..... cailee. Hari ini gue ngantor 'asal' dan 'alakadar'nya banget. I've been sitting on this chair with work waiting to be done but all I care is tryng to lay this head on my desk whenever it is possible. Gee, I wished I was in my bed now...
Wiwit called me only to know about my plan for this weekend. Gila kali yaa, it is only wednesday and she asked me what is my plan for weekend? I have'nt dream about weekend yet! Oh well but then I knew that she only wanted to play card again with me. From midday to the next morning. Huh. Maen kartu aja masak pake rencana segala sih?

17. 40 Bought a new movie, UnderWorld. Looks cool. But really it is cool.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Normal Day

How nice,.... woke up late and went straight to my work because Nina was stayed with Mom lastnight. What a peaceful evening yesterday. Tapi hari ini maaaak, masih pagi kerjaan udah numpuk aja. Udah gitu gue kurang paham gimana cara ngerjainnya. I'm not used to work with that program. Bah.

What's the time?
Seems it's already morning.
I see the sky, it's so beautiful and blue.
The tv's on but the only thing showing
is a picture of you.

Oh I get up and make myself some coffee.
I try to read a bit but the story's too thin.
I thank the Lord above
you're not here to see me in this shape I'm in.

Spending my time,
watching the days go by.
Feeling so small,
I stare at the wall,
hoping that you think of me too.
I'm spending my time.

I try to call but I don't know what to tell you.
I leave a kiss on your answering machine.
Oh help me please,
is there someone who can make me
wake up from this dream?


Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Selamat Pagi!

... and I can't fight this feeling anymore,...
'selamat pagi Jakartaaa,.........' geblek, hari ini bangun jam 8 kurang. Padahal si Nina masuk 07.30. hhueheehee,... kacau deh gue! but I feel great today. I dropped her at her school around 08.35. Shame on me!
I had Bubur ayam as my breakfast and later I got constipation. Pengen p o o p ..... Perut gue emang nggak bisa diajak kompromi ya?
And btw, I found this web. Dutch are crazy.

He called again two times today. In the morning and in the midday. I think that he's still the same person I love, a person whose the picture hanging in my bedroom wall. But God, how it is difficult now to make conversations with him except to say hi- how is he doing- how's the job. That's all. I always feel that I have nothing to tell, and even if I have casual things to tell I'm sure it is not necessary to tell him. Belum tentu dia 'connected' to hal2 yang gue ceritain. nanti malah bingung...

Btw, there are three bedrooms to rent upstairs. This evening there are two guys moving in. New tenants. So it is only one room left now. I'm glad. Finally, there will be more people and more noises here,... Good.

Monday, October 13, 2003

Routine Stuff

so at last, back again to work. Back to my routine's life. Fine. Got a same old weekend anyway. But I did cut my hair short, sent my back luck away. LOL. Right, and hoped this will worked, huh?

10.25 : He called! hhhmm, yeeess..! *still not sure* did I day dream again? One thing weird today, there are flies flying around in this room! they're big! disgushting,.... ngeselin banget. Yuck!
15.05 : He called again (huh?) Supposed this making me happier, at least comforting instead of making me nervous.... help*

today's joke sent by Bruce |
QUIET SEX : Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
LOUD SEX : A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear
splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see
what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

Friday, October 10, 2003

Posting Gak Jelas

As usual, being the first person came in office. Hahahaa... should changing my job with Lina. Nothing interesting me today. Having not so much works to do. Only putting more sentences to this blog and editing the webpage. Djali came in 10 minutes later. This is end of week, right? Yess! Sleeping days.....

joke of the day |
A brunette, redhead, and a blonde are talking when the brunette says,"I was looking through my daughters purse and I found cigarettes. I didn't even know that she smoked."
The redhead then says, "Well I was looking through my daughters purse and I found a joint. I didn't even know she did drugs."
Lastly, the blonde says, "Well I was looking through my daughters purse and I found condoms. I didn't even know that she had a dick!"
..... Huueehheehhee.....

gile nih, tiba-tiba aja mendung berat! Udah jelas gejala maok ujan gede nih. Oh God,... I left my umbrella home (why did I forget this?). Mendung aja mah oke,... but don't rain, please.... It will be difficult to find a cab. Oh, nooo... IT IS raining already. *c r y* Raymond, hurry come and pick me here.

Nonton acara TV mengenai revisi KUHP tindak pidana kesusilaan. Rese. Pengen tauk, tapi yang ada jadi sebel sendiri dengernya. Ya gue matiin aja TV nya.....
Imagine- if the goverment trying to mess up with your privacy life, concerning the status of relationship between a couple. Living together and even to expose selling condoms can sent you to jail! Funny. Now they trying to control the citizen's sex life? As if the goverment has no other priorities for something more serious than to this personal's matters. Send the rapist and the irresponsible men to to jail are fine. But not to people's privacy. Right?

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Another Day to Live

Selamat pagiii,...... think that this gonna be another good day today. Plenty of works remain to do. No special plan for this evening. I wondering why he has not call me for one week. Inilah, gara-gara handphone gue mati jadi susah komunikasi, man. BT nih. Now it is hardly to keep hoping that he will back again tomorrow, cause I dont wanna die with hope in my heart.

I was still awake untill 02.30 am in the morning. Menyebalkan. Gue sampe udah nggak ngarti lagi maok ngapain. Just laid there in my bed, eyes closed, but could not sleep. I'm weird. Why should I through this every night? Sleep only for 3 or 4 hours a day? Please help,... how I wished him here.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Semangat, Yuk!

Ribet. Work and work and more works since morning. Heeii,... is he trying to kill me or what? So why there are always some changes here and there everytime I almost done? Thank you,... thank you,.... you're very nice, boss.

It was sunny this morning, and now it is very dark outside. I'm sure it's gonna be rain soon. Oh! I hope the rain won't fall before I get home. Udah nggak lucu lagi kan kalo gue maenan ujan kayak anak sekolah?

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Gitu Deh

Hope this gonna be a good day today
Mak! Ngantuuuk,... banget. Kenapa ya gue? Came to office early and found that I was the first person came this morning. Great. Put my bag on my desk. Turned the PC on. Made myself a coffee milk and lit a cigarette. Pppfff... nice. I stepped outside again, leaned on the wall with a cigarette on my finger. It is a quite morning. I still feel asleep though I got my coffee already. How is so difficult to keep my eyes open. Help. I missed him a lot, and think of how nice it'd be to fall asleep in his arms. Wake up, girl!
joke of the day sent by Howard
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around
with a fly swatter.
wife : "What are you doing?".
husband : "Hunting Flies" He responded.
wife : "Oh? Killing any?".
husband : "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,".
Intrigued, the wife asked : "How can you tell?"
Husband : "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone. "
................. huh. Not so funny

With Nina, Tetytu, Eric, and Akmal. Pepperoni Beef Pizza for diner. Spent one and half hour at the bookstore only to wish that I could buy one. Not because expensive, but because I'm poor. Ha! When did the last time I buy a novel? 4 0r 5 months ago? Terlalu,...
This guy Emon, my house mate, surprised me a little. I could guess, offcourse. He's a faggot, but he did talk stories concerning that he is a gay as if he talked about the weather outside. I knew it. He's so feminine- much more feminine than I am. Though a gay not always look sissy, somehow I can "sense" them even if they look masculine. This goes for lesbian too, she's not always look "macho" as a girl.
For me, a gay or normal are fine. This is only a matter of sex oriented, right? Just like my stupid philosophy : "Mind your own business". Kelemahan dan urusan kita sendiri juga banyak,... Ngapain juga ngeributin orang lain? Capek, pak!

Monday, October 06, 2003

Cleaning Day

This Morning
08.00 : The hard part begin as soon as I droped Nina to her school. I took the rug and all my stuff out of the room then moped the floor. I did call my office and told them that I'd come late today. Later, with a help from one guy here, we brought down one of a bed from the room upstair to my room and installed it. This time I need a bed instead of sleep with only a matress on floor, (It was really a hard work to bring that heavy wodden bed downstair) and on the second though- now I dont wanna use any carpets to cover the floor. So I sent my dirty wet carpet to the laundry across the street. Daripada cuma sekedar dijemur di genteng. Bauk. God, I really wish to have him around.
12.19 : Finally I'm done with the room. That was "pure" work-out, really took my strength and energy. I felt pain in every bones on my body. Hahahaa. But really, I didn't think that I'd be able to come to work anymore today. So tired... and I falled asleep again....

Yesterday Evening
It was a very bad rain today during the afternoon and we came home late. I had a bad feeling when I unlocked the door, and I was right. Once the door opened I stood there and looked at the mess on floor. My carpet, started from the corner, was wet. I'm not really a neat person anyway. Everything laid on my carpet were all wet. Papers, books, flatiron, ashtray, half the matress.... Damn. Maok marah banget liatnya. That was really a "homework" for me. And I was too tired to clean them now. Huh. I rent a lot of places many times for years. Good places- bad places. But this kind of experience just happened lastnight. Bener- bener musibah... Imagine. That night I slept with nina on the half dry part of the matress. Sad.......

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Laundry Day

Sunday Morning (not too early)
Really. It is still morning but it is so hot outside. Huh. I can't stand this heat. Good for my laundries but not for me. I'm sweating a lot. Swimming is nice, but step out of the house is not a good option for this moment. Ngapain? Udah garing begini masih maok kurang garing gimana lagi gue? Maybe I'll do that later of the day. So, I feel like I wanna back to bed again, but (again)..... that will only wasting my day time (actually this is what I do every Sunday. Only to Sleep. LOL). Now I think that is not wise. But I can not found anything better to do. Nina was tired and was asleep as soon as she came from school. I've done my laundry and cleaned the room about an hour ago.
Hhhmm,... ngapain ya?,... apa sih? hhmm... (keep thinking).
Ah! oke,.. oke,... okee,.. maybe I can watch the movie I bought yesterday and sleep again. I know is not wise ...... So, what?

Thursday, October 02, 2003

'Sepoi - sepoiii,.......
mood | Good
Music | Kitaro ^Lady of Dream^

Criminals. Is all that I always read and saw on the news thesedays. Kenapa sih orang2 pada makin beringas aja? Imagine if we're living in fun but peaceful,.......

12. 45 : oooohhh,.... ngantuk nih. Lemesss..... I think I could fall asleep here on this chair. what I better do now? Sleep? And let the boys caught me? No, thanks.
Hhmmm,... I wish you are with me now, hon. Then I sure know what better thing to do instead of starring to this monitor and feeling so drowsy. Dont ask!

Mood | Mellow
21. 20 : It is a "quiet" night again. Not so quiet ofcourse with the sounds coming from TV. Nina staying with mom tonight, and now I start to miss her voices, her laughter, her scent, and the most is with her "annoying" behaviour as usual. I dont undestand, when she is around I get a headache often. Okelah, dia memang sedikit nakal, but she is my little sunshine anyway. I love her. Things are'nt look bright without her around. She so full of life,....
I wondering when will she starting listen to me? God, I hope this is not a karma, oke?

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

First Post

I still dont understand what is this blog means. Haahhaaahaa...

07. 25 : Start from this morning as usual I dropped Nina at school then went to work. Things went right. Too usual. And this is boring me. But I'm fine.

14.27 : Remon called. Two times already today. Gee, gue kangen banget sama dia, nih. What is he doing right at this moment? Kangen juga nggak dia sama gue? Hurry back, say!

This stupid handphone finally get the signal since I started turn it on in the morning. I thought the problem was with the handset, but I was wrong. Tapi memang sepertinya handphone gue minta diganti deh.

19.40 : D's Place : Yuni + Rosa.
Ah! So many too see. How I missed a lot of things. Where I have been hiding all this time? This is interesting. Men are normal, but middle age ladies here? Ibu2 dulu pada kemana aja sih? masih kurang? ...............hhhmm, kenapa juga gue pikirin?